Many Ethiopian young girls, whether in rural or urban areas, face self confidence problems,which emanates from fear. Fear of being judged ,fear of being hated or stereotyped. Though the problem seems easing from time to time it is still manifest among many young girls and boys.
In cites young girls and people face too many difficult situations and incidents on their day to day life. The hurdles run the gamut from lack of self confidence, lack of self expression to inability to make decisions for themselves that coerce them to leading a life without direction and goals . Many young boys and girls sink in the ocean of bad habits and buckle under bad influences. To compensate for their lack of confidence, to cope up with their anxieties and to not be precluded by peers because of their adamant stance they depend or seek the advise of others to make a single decision which may lead to pain and discomfort on the long run.
Leyla Nassir is among the voluntary life-skill coach trainers in Addis who is creating changes and impacts on university students and youth centers through life skill training, personal development self confidence and leadership training.
“Life skill training is a way of knowing one self and direction of ones journey based on values and purposes and goals and achievements. In our country people do not see it as an option but developing good habits comes from self awareness and becoming ready for personal success,”says Leyla
Leyla started giving such life skill training of her volition FIVE years back. It was 9 years ago that she got a chance for training sessions on her first carrier as International Trade manager and banking business project manager that are bases for internet and mobile banking services at the Ethiopian Commercial Bank (CBE) that served her as a steeping stone.
Based on the training she took and experiences she acquired at her working area she developed her personal skill upgrading her educational status. She earned BA in Business Management, BSC in Information System, MBA in Business Administration from Addis Ababa University. Through correspondence she had got a post graduate degree in Interest Free Banking
Leyla believes that it starts from self to create an enthused society that can make a change in a country.
Leyla remembers her first experience up on delivering a speech on practical training programs in front of people shaking and trembling allover from nervousness. Time changes. So does her behavior. Now she has become a sought-after motivation speaker for many young men and women in the city.
“Being a woman is a challenge by itself. We have to make a paradigm shift on the error of thinking that women should seek the approval of their male counterpart. Obviously the wrong perception that women are incapable to decide for themselves and as such have to seek the confirmation of men on things is the root cause for their lack of confidence. Such misguided mentality should be overturned. Women should stop considering themselves as pitiful. Taking ourselves feeble we shouldn’t have to always seek affirmative action. If we claim we are equal we need to practice that, we need to do things that should be done according to our reasonable and realistic values,” Leyla suggests.
While a teenager, she had a tendency of listening to people, consulting her friends and trouble-shooting problems from the books that she loved reading.
She had a dream of opening her own school and sensitizing people on the issue. “I think that cherished dream of mine is coming true,” says Leyla
While in elementary school, up on standing 1st from her class and receiving incentives form her father, she used to demand books while her sisters opted for clothes. ” I like reading books. They have played a big part on who I am right now!”
Her father is Leyla’s role model. “My father has always been my inspiration. He did face many challenges in life but never gave up. His stamina and positive attitude always lend me energy to emerge successful.” She firmly believes that knowledge doesn’t only come from education ” Our parents may not be that educated but they showcase a huge knowledge than the elite ones. I do not have a quarter of my father’s knowledge. He draws lesson from everything ,while I learn from his experience. “
“Women play a big role in creating a responsible generation,” says Leyla.
Our culture may have impacted our role as only being house wives. However, now things are changing. Men have started lending hands to their wives in handling domestic chores. There is another thing men should be supportive at. That is appreciating their women in their fight to prove competent. Women need to balance both motherhood and professionalism as both mean a lot to them. We do not have to depend on men’s approval.”
“Attitudinal change is needed. There are so many things that make us different from men. We have to consider our differences, tolerate outmoded utterances and cautiously move understanding from where bad attitudes are coming from.”
“Our mothers have experience-gained wisdom. They know how to handle and understand their men. To get what they want they give respect. That is exemplary. They know how to win respect and show their value.
“First we, members of the fair sex,have to know what it takes to be who we want to be and decide for ourselves. We need not seek help and approval from others. We have to believe in ourselves and go earn our value. We have to be independent and confident. If we think beyond and aim for the highest attainment everything is possible. Of course, there are challenges we are sure to pass through. We have to ascend every obstacle and every step and make a better decision because every step one takes shapes one’s future,” Layla asserts.
Often Leyla is invited to many personal and self development short term training for NGOs and universities that aim to create impact on many young lives. As a guest trainer the personal change her young and elder trainees display affords her satisfaction and motivation.
Recently, as a guest lecturer ,she had participated in the Ethiopian Congress for Democracy (VECOD) three-month training on leadership and management skill development for youth and students
“I count myself very lucky. While giving a training and leading others to change their lives I myself get a lesson on the process. What is more I create connection. I open room of opportunities for others too. You see trainees could train others.”
To mention few from the many trainees who gained self confidence and self management skills Eskedar Ashenafi is one. She is a construction and development student and 8th round graduates from VECODE. She said “the training was interesting and life changing. I learned about personal leadership and self confidence and good governance and ethics. It made me to keep my eyes open and see unnoticed but important part of my life, gain many opportunities that help me how to communicate with others. The projects and presentations were life changing experiences. They made me aware of my potentials for future success in store.”
Kalab Alebachaw 12th grader is the other graduate completing the 4 month training from VECODE in which Leyla participated as a guest lecturer.
He said that “The courses were interesting as they made me to develop my communication skills. It helped us to cherish our values, that of others and families it was alerted us to lead programmed and purposeful lives. The courses were interesting. We shared experiences practically with other trainees on taking meaningful actions in supporting others, understanding others’ ideas and cross pollinating experiences for mutual benefit and knowing our values and that of others.”
Leyla thinks positive attitude is key for success. She has a dream to be international motivational speaker.
As she has high interest to help the poor, currently,she is on the move with her project on children .It helps them have value system and self confidence trough free process voluntarism.
“Nurtured thinking start from formative years. It is not only food children need , they need to feel self worthiness. Right from the start they should feel valued and get attention,” said Leyla
What her project focuses on is supporting children from poor families who are recruited visionaries and giving them training to make their dreams come true.
“We need to work on their value systems. Know their value and worth.
Nobody makes mistakes at a certain point in time. It is step by step bad habits nurtured from childhood develops. We need to make research first on the causes of their behaviour and understand every step so that when they start to grow up they don’t need some bad habits coping up mechanisms .They need not be violent for attention. We need to make sure they know their value and make a difference for generation.